Ribbit Ribbit

Where do I start? The history of my relationship or where it went horribly wrong?

Let me just say that I was in a long-distance relationship for 9 months with a guy that seemed like Prince Charming, but he definitely had a froggy side, he just hid his warts better. Don't get me wrong, we all have warts. But having warts from your past are completely different from developing big ugly warts WHILE you are with someone. But on with the story...

Well... (we all know where this is going), I found out a few months ago that he was cheating on me by receiving a call on my cell at work from a woman who was speaking so fast, I could hardly understand her. She told me that she had been dating-and having vigorous sex with- my boyfriend for the past 2 months and had fallen in love with him. I can't say I was completely surprised at the call from her, given his froggy behavior, but his lying is what really got me. She was crying and talking about God and all kinds of shit. I met her with stoney silence. I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of breaking down in front of her, and I certainly wasn't going try to invoke a higher power to solve my own problems. What's funny is that I'm pagan and my boyfriend is atheist -which she didn't know- so her talking about God constantly in a not-so-subtle display of her dismay and hurt was more annoying than anything else. Besides, I have never been a big believer in histrionics, because I don't think they serve any purpose other than to make yourself look like a complete ass.

As a princess that has mucked her way thru the pond a time or two herself, I found myself wondering where should the 'boys will be boys' attitude end and the hurt and betrayal begin? I had been offering to let him date other people the WHOLE time he had been gone, but he kept saying no, he was happy with me, when the truth was that he just didn't want to share ME with anyone, but he was basically doing whatever he damn well pleased in the mean time, including having sex with this girl and numerous other inappropriate behavoirs. All the while I was turning down dates and staying faithful, when I could have been going out and getting froggy myself, but still keeping the long-term goal of seeing where things went when he got home. Apparently all frogs have double standards.

Anyway, I immediately confronted him about it and he surprised me by being a stand-up guy and admitting guilt without trying to back-peddle and lie even more. Prince Charming lurks in strange places. After talking for several hours (while he cried and felt guilty, I met him with calm, tear-free, soft-voiced disappointment. I can't tell you how much satisfaction that gave me to be the strong one while he wept, esp since I was the one that was betrayed. I cried when I saw him in person a week later, tho, dammit.) I told him that I didn't know what I wanted to do - end things or work them out. But if he wanted any chance with me to even talk, he had to give up wooing other potential princesses while he was in my courtyard and end things with her immediately. He agreed and said that he really did love me and he didn't really know why he did it... ribbit ribbit ribbit. Whatever, asshole.

Here's the thing that pokes holes in my calm exterior. The whole pretext of her call was that she found out that he had a girlfriend at home (me) and she didn't want to be the other woman because she had been cheated on before and knew what it was like to be betrayed. She called to tell me that he was, in fact, a frog, even tho he acted like Prince Charming. So he went to his room to break things off with her and told her that he was choosing me over her, that he really loved me and while he cared about her as a person, he wanted to try to work things out with me. At least that's what he told me he told her.

Well, she completely caved and said that she would do anything to stay with him, including pretending like she had never found out about me and they would just go on as things had been - INCLUDING my relationship with him. She was perfectly willing to be the other woman to carry on with him behind my back once she found out that she wasn't the victor in our little contest. WTF?!?!

Then she said that she thought that he would go back to her after he saw me the next weekend, which pissed me off even more. I've seen this girl, and I honestly don't think she is all that. She's sexy, in a way, but given her behavior, that negates any attraction that I could see happening. Who really wants to put up with drama all the time? Besides, not to toot my own horn, but I think I have a lot to offer a guy in a relationship. I'm smart, sweet, non-judgemental most of the time, very considerate and nurturing, and I have a pretty good sense of humor. I'm not too bad in the looks department and very open in the sack. I have many flaws, of course, but as long as the guy is reasonably considerate towards me, I will treat him like a prince, and not the frog that I know he really is. So who is she to say that he's going to drop me like a hot rock when he sees me? I guess she was trying to get her little digs in where she could. I had sympathy for her at first, because he was playing us both, but I lost all respect for her in the following months.

Since then, she has been a royal nightmare. She STILL contacts him and tells him that she loves him and misses him and would do anything to be with him, which includes lying to him about me. When she couldn't win him back on her own merit, she decided to try to undermine his trust in me instead, saying that I've been in touch with other guys and talking about him behind his back and have been harassing her, which is not even remotely close to true. (I HAVE been sorely tempted to contact her when I saw she was online, but I never have.) She even had a friend IM me and say that they were still in contact and he was still calling her and telling her that he loved her and missed her. I have no idea whether or not that is true, since both my man and the other woamn have both established their abilities to lie so well.

It is a moot point now anyway because the role has been reversed and he's back in the same state with me (staying with me, in fact) and 1500 miles away from her. Unfortunately, NOW she says she is pregnant, even tho she originally told him that her tubes were tied. Is she really pregnant? If she is, is the baby his? Time will tell.

We decided to stay together, mainly because he is persuasive and I was curious to see how we would be together when he got home. Things have been going very well between he and I, with minor trust hiccups on both sides. He is home for good now, which makes things a hell of a lot easier for us.

The funny thing is, the frog side of him made me trust him more as a person in a way because I knew he was too good to be true, and I found out that he was. I was therefore curbing my own behavior to try and please him, like most women do. But since I found out that he certainly isn't perfect and has no leeway to be judgemental at all, I actual feel like I can be more open and honest with him about everything now, even in bed, than I did before I found out about the drama queen and her cronies.

See, besides the other woman thing, he is everything I have ever wanted in a guy. He's sweet and kind, considerate, well-mannered, affectionate, sensitive without being a wuss, has a great sense of humor, he's hot as hell, and a fantastic lover. We have so much in common and like so much of the same stuff, it is scary. Sigh...

So my quandry is, I really love Prince Charming, but the frog side of him has my princess panties in a twist. What is a princess to do?