Why are men so prone to getting caught cheating (and making it on CNN) ?
And why are women so vindictive about the men who cheat on them?
Now, we all know women cheat about as much as men. But men seem to lick their wounds and get over it. Women, on the other hand, usually want to RUIN THE CHEATER'S LIFE.
Exhibit A:
Granted, this fucktard looks none-too-bright, if you ask me. And impersonating a U.S. Marshal probably isn't the smartest thing he's ever done, either. But his "girlfriend" was notified by a former "girlfriend" that he wasn't who she thought he was. But instead of dumping the dumb bastard, she contacted his wife, then networked with his other former "girlfriends" online, started a website, AND contacted the U.S. Marshal Service!Exhibit B:
Speaking of websites, there is a new website that has gained national press. What's it called? Don't Date Him, Girl. A website for outing your cheating ex-boyfriend for all the world to see.
Or better yet, Exhibit C:
How about just going straight to the source and ripping off his "franks and beans," like a Philly woman did her to husband because she thought he was cheating? But guess again... he wasn't cheating.
Yes, most of these men are dumb sonsofbitches, but I don't really think they deserved to be publicly (or physically) eviscerated.
I'm sure these women would have crucified these men if there had been large crosses and some Roman soldiers handy.
And what does this say about the women who do the eviscerating? Would any man want to date such a vindictive psycho? I think not.
In my honest opinion, I think it all comes down to competition. Men may be more competitive when it comes to sports and jobs, but women are FAR more competitive when it comes to love, sex, and other women. They want to WIN. And if they don't, some women feel that any revenge is justified.
We all know there is far more to cheating than just the sex - cheating, especially in a marriage where complications abound, is a symptom of a much greater disease. But if you can't or don't want to deal with the cheater, just breakup with/divorce him, give yourself some time to deal with it and move on. Because after you breakup, he's not your problem anymore.
Why go to such great lengths to destroy his life?
Is it an "if I can't have him, then no one will" mentality?
I really am at a loss for such extreme behavior.
What do other women think on this subject? What do the men think?
And for the record, I've cheated (on one person with one person, ever), I've been cheated on, AND I've been the recipient of one of these psychotic bitch's stalking, and none of them are pretty.
*Update*
Now this is a healthy way to deal with it. Thanks, Sven.
12 comments:
It's pretty vindictive for sure! Yikes. I think that most people would find that it reflected worse on the accuser than on the accusey
It's ironic that we would write about the same topic on the same day. Maybe we should hook up. ;-)
I linked to you as well.
Oh I know just what you're talking about. I've seen some of the crap that some women pull on guys after a break up. They seem to have an itty bitty problem with rejection.
I don't know why it hasn't occurred to them it's because they're PSYCHO!
Exactly!
I would happily crucify my ex for his chronic philandering. What a dickhead. If he didn't want to be married, he should have f'ing sacked up and told me the truth, versus lying and cheating behind my back, exposing me to a host of STDs and generally being a tard.
The fact is: he used me, for my income and other things.
He wanted to have his cake, and eat it too.
He wanted a nice stable life, me working my ass off in the trenches bringing home a fat paycheck that he could mooch off of, and constant access to his children, and nice homemade meals, and all the other comforts of suburban married life that he could not have afforded on his own.
And he wanted to enjoy those benefits, all the while playing playboy games inside his head and burying his cock inside other women. You know, he wanted to have the benefits of being both married, and single, at the same time.
And I got to pick up the tab, financially, emotionally, and otherwise...
Am I bitter? Yeah. Probably.
Did I submit him to "don't date him girl"? Hell yeah. Why would I want some other woman to go through what I went through?
It's not competition, in fact, his last affair and I are still friends, and speak at least once every couple of weeks or so. It's wanting to PROTECT other women from a predator who uses women and treats them like trash.
And the public humiliation? That's just a side benefit to which he is entitled, having exposed me to the humiliation of having a husband that apparently, I wasn't woman enough to keep from straying (or at least, that is the concensus of public opinion on the subject).
I f'ing hate a cheater. Could you tell?
Trouble, in your case, I'll hold your ex up against the cross while you hammer the nails.
What a bastard.
I guess I'm targeting my post more towards people that were in short-term relationships going psycho. Cheating during a marriage is a whole other ball of wax.
I full-on ranted on my blog on this subject. I can totally appreciate your perspective. Although, to me, cheating is cheating, the difference is only one of degree.
On the other hand, thanks for the opportunity to express my disdain and anger towards him.
However, in all fairness, my happiness today is due in large degree to him. If he hadn't been a cheating prick, I'd still be in a miserable marriage because I probably wouldn't have felt entitled to leave.
Further, I know for a fact that the chef and I cherish each other even more because of what we went through. We constantly reinforce the value of what we have found because we know just how bad and crushing it can get.
I value the chef's faithfulness and integrity more than words can even express.
Here's the thing every situation is different.
If your just dating for a few months then no I don't think you need to bring out the big guns.
HOWEVER, invested time, is invested. Why continue with something, let another person waste there life and happiness and STRENGTH if you merely want to fuck someone else?
If someone is married or is married WITH children than I COMPLETELY DISAGREE with the whole post. That is something that goes beyond cheating. It's to hard to explain and it would take a lot of space to type it all. Cheating in a marriage is something horrific and effects someone forever. Period. Don't even get me started on people who cheat when they have kids. Those people have crossed a line.
I don't believe in ACTUAL Physical harm. No one should ever have his balls ripped off or be killed, maimed, etc.
(I read Trouble's post and I agree. She summed it up. Although I come more for a childs view of cheating.)
I think its easy to intellectualize the situation, but when you're going through it, emotions are definitely combined with thoughts. Now some women and men are psycho, hanging around after the relationship is over to cook your child's rabbit and cut their wrists, or throw a brick through your car window or key your car. I think I understand the emotionality of it, and sometimes you get tired of always being the bigger person. Where should the line be drawn? I think as long as you don't kill anybody, send them to the hospital, or affect anyone not involved in the relationship, I think its fair game. I don't think I would, but I haven't been through that.
On the whole, agree with Misha. But sometimes cheating is justified. Really. It is. Like last weekend when I surreptiously added 30 additional soldiers to the Southwestern United States to end the game that had already lasted 4 hours. No one wanted to play anymore but no one wanted to concede. It was done for the common good. I cheated. I won. I should be applauded. Dontchya think?
Ellie: All is fair in love and war games. :)
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