I performed at the Taste of Morocco restaurant yesterday with my troupe.
A fellow dancer took this picture of me mid-turn... I look like a helicopter getting ready to take off.
3.26.2007
Dancing Queen
I performed at the Taste of Morocco restaurant yesterday with my troupe.
A fellow dancer took this picture of me mid-turn... I look like a helicopter getting ready to take off.
3.21.2007
Things I Love to...
Hate
Love
A shout-out to Leta for the post idea.
What do you hate and love?
- feeling rushed all the time
- the smell of fresh mulch all over my office park
- checking on people to make sure they are doing what they say they are going to do
- feeling like I need to check on people
- ice and snow
- how disorganized my dance instructor can be
- the fine lines that are quickly becoming wrinkles on my forehead
- enlarged pores
- my own laziness when it comes to housecleaning
- my credit rating since I got divorced
Love
- how affectionate my 5 y/o is
- that my boss is on a trip, so I can goof off a lot more this week
- bellydance costumes
- the fact that I can pick out Middle Eastern rhythms better than anyone else in my class without ever having studied music
- how smart my 9 y/o is
- how well R and I get along now and how close I feel to him
- spring time
- how close I am to my family
A shout-out to Leta for the post idea.
What do you hate and love?
3.19.2007
The Silence is Deafening
I post that I'm back, but don't write anything in over a week. huh
It's not that I don't WANT to write... I just don't know what to write about at this juncture. I live an active and busy life, but it's mostly mundane things, like kid activities, work, and dance. I don't want to write lists of what I did last weekend and what my plans are for this week, because that is boring to write, much less read.
I want to write about my thoughts and feelings and over-analyze on here, like I do in my head.
But I hesitate.
I hesitate because, even tho this is my blog, other people in my real life read it occasionally and I've had some bad reactions and some 'splainin to do afterwards and I just don't want the drama. On the other hand, I want to write about my personal life with abandon, be it good, bad or otherwise.
Decisions, decisions.
In the meantime, I will pose a spiritual/metaphysical question I have been wondering about: do you believe houses and household items retain positive or negative energy?
I read the Tarot at least once a week (I have several decks, but use this deck -I love the art work- for the most part and use a 10-card, Celtic cross spread) and have been getting a lot of negative readings lately when nothing should be wrong. R is usually in the room (he may have thought tarot was kinda strange at first, but he is a believer now) and I think he influences the cards to a certain extent, as does my mood. But ever since R and I had that falling out at the beginning of February, my readings are mostly about my fears, even if I am in a happy and loving mood. Could my fears be influencing my thoughts so much that it shows up in a reading, even if I don't realize it and don't feel stressed and worried in my daily life? Will these things come to pass and I am in denial? Or could the room and furniture be influencing my reading? The falling-out occurred there.
Has this ever happened to you?
****Update****
Had a half-way decent reading last night. Yay!
It's not that I don't WANT to write... I just don't know what to write about at this juncture. I live an active and busy life, but it's mostly mundane things, like kid activities, work, and dance. I don't want to write lists of what I did last weekend and what my plans are for this week, because that is boring to write, much less read.
I want to write about my thoughts and feelings and over-analyze on here, like I do in my head.
But I hesitate.
I hesitate because, even tho this is my blog, other people in my real life read it occasionally and I've had some bad reactions and some 'splainin to do afterwards and I just don't want the drama. On the other hand, I want to write about my personal life with abandon, be it good, bad or otherwise.
Decisions, decisions.
In the meantime, I will pose a spiritual/metaphysical question I have been wondering about: do you believe houses and household items retain positive or negative energy?
I read the Tarot at least once a week (I have several decks, but use this deck -I love the art work- for the most part and use a 10-card, Celtic cross spread) and have been getting a lot of negative readings lately when nothing should be wrong. R is usually in the room (he may have thought tarot was kinda strange at first, but he is a believer now) and I think he influences the cards to a certain extent, as does my mood. But ever since R and I had that falling out at the beginning of February, my readings are mostly about my fears, even if I am in a happy and loving mood. Could my fears be influencing my thoughts so much that it shows up in a reading, even if I don't realize it and don't feel stressed and worried in my daily life? Will these things come to pass and I am in denial? Or could the room and furniture be influencing my reading? The falling-out occurred there.
Has this ever happened to you?
****Update****
Had a half-way decent reading last night. Yay!
3.09.2007
Playing Catch Up
Where should I start on the "my life for the last 3 months" post?
Hmmm...
In a nutshell, all is well. Not perfectly wonderful, but life never is, now is it?
The girls are doing really well. The school year is half-way over and both girls are doing extremely well and are both in gifted and talented classes, which is nice. I didn't even know they had GT for the Kindergarten level, but apparently, they do. One of Lauren's homework assignments in GT was this essay question:
"Explain why ancient civilizations used myths to explain natural occurrences. Use supporting facts from previous assignments. Create your own myth to explain a recent natural occurrence."
Wha?????
*See mommy smack her own forehead and then shake her head in shame when she realizes that the homework her daughter is doing in FOURTH GRADE is similar to homework mommy did in high school and college.* Gah.
Lauren will start seeing an occupational therapist on a weekly basis next week. She was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade, but honestly hasn't had much of a problem since then. She does have this little quirk where she scrunches up her face and rubs her hands together when she's excited. She's always done it, but kids that don't know her well are starting to comment and make fun of her, so I took her to an OT to treat it and found out that she is a little behind (she tests in the age range of a 7 year old instead of a 9 year old) in her neurological development as far as gross and fine motor skills are concerned. So she'll go to therapy until she's where she's supposed to be. Luckily, in visual integration (not eyesight, but processing and comprehending what you see) she tests in the 12-13 year old range - so she's 4 years ahead there. The OT said this is the intelligence indicator. (see above paragraph about mythology - sheez)
In summary, she's smart but klutzy, just like her mom! AND I have ADHD, too. Genetics really got her - poor kid.
Ashlyn has been doing well. She's been sick here and there - once with food poisoning and once with a high fever of unknown origin, but that is to be expected in a 5 year old. It took 4 adults to hold her down to get a throat culture (which turned out to be negative) when she had the fever. THAT was fun. I can't wait until her immune system is better developed - that kid gets the sniffles at least once a month in the cold weather. And she is NOT a good taker-of-medicine. She's gotten better as she's gotten older, but she used to projectile-vomit anything I put in her mouth if she didn't want it there. Threats just end in tears and vomiting, so now I just resort to cajoling and bribery. She may not have any teeth left after all the candy and cookies I bribe her with, but she won't be sick!
I'm such a great mother.
Lauren's birthday is next Tuesday. My first baby will be 10 years old. (Are those new lines on my forehead and gray hairs on my head, of which there are already a-plenty? Why yes, yes they are.)
I am so excited about her party this year! Her theme is Ancient Egypt and we're having a scavenger hunt and "archeological dig" (aka big rubbermaid container filled with play sand with buried artifacts and crystals scattered thru-out) and her cake is going to be a scaled-down landscape of Giza made out of a flat sheet cake and pyramids made out of rice crispy treats with plenty of frosting and crushed 'Nilla wafers for sand. I might even try to make a sphinx out of marzipan. I can't wait!
And yes, I know I'm a total dork. Shut up.
The bellydancing is still going strong. I have EIGHT gigs in the coming months, and we're performing with live drummers now, so it's cool and challenging. I even have a couple of pictures that I might post. But I have to get very very drunk first. So if you want to see those pictures, show up with a case of white wine and we'll discuss it.
R and I went thru a VERY rough patch about a month ago. We actually broke up for a while and started making plans on moving out, etc., but then got to talking and decided that, all bullshit aside, we are good together and are happy with the relationship so we decided to stay together and see what happens. Currently we're working on things and he is going to counseling every week to sort shit out that happened earlier in his life that he unintentionally plays out in our relationship. I'm far from perfect, but I think most of the "work" needs to be done in his head at this point, so I'm here for love and support and nooky 24 hours a day. We're also working on communication and being together as a family and a couple as much as possible, despite working opposite shifts. Truth be told, I feel closer to him and feel like I know him better now than I ever have before. So far so good. We'll just have to see what the future holds.
In retrospect, I realize now that I (and R, too, for different reasons) have been living in "survival mode" for the last three years - ever since I got seperated and subsequently divorced. I've been living my life on "what ifs" and just kinda making do and not willing to settle down on anything. I've been thru 4 different companies job-wise... I've furnished my rented townhouse with hand-me-downs and slipcovers... I don't like the car I bought after I totalled my last one... I don't even own a pet when I've always had at least one cat, if not a dog and various fish/hamsters/turtles etc. I've basically been living my life like I could pack up my kids and clothes and run at a moment's notice and not give a rat's ass about what I left behind. Really for no good reason at this point three years down the road. I have a nice salary and so does R, combined we make plenty of money. Therefore, R and I have decided that we're going to move to a new place when our lease is up this summer and start fresh. Build something comforting and beautiful and a real home together instead of trying to mend broken little pieces of our lives into a presentable facade but we're really making Frankenstein's monster. A new place and new furniture will be a good start.
I am tired of living like a refugee.
Hmmm...
In a nutshell, all is well. Not perfectly wonderful, but life never is, now is it?
The girls are doing really well. The school year is half-way over and both girls are doing extremely well and are both in gifted and talented classes, which is nice. I didn't even know they had GT for the Kindergarten level, but apparently, they do. One of Lauren's homework assignments in GT was this essay question:
"Explain why ancient civilizations used myths to explain natural occurrences. Use supporting facts from previous assignments. Create your own myth to explain a recent natural occurrence."
Wha?????
*See mommy smack her own forehead and then shake her head in shame when she realizes that the homework her daughter is doing in FOURTH GRADE is similar to homework mommy did in high school and college.* Gah.
Lauren will start seeing an occupational therapist on a weekly basis next week. She was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade, but honestly hasn't had much of a problem since then. She does have this little quirk where she scrunches up her face and rubs her hands together when she's excited. She's always done it, but kids that don't know her well are starting to comment and make fun of her, so I took her to an OT to treat it and found out that she is a little behind (she tests in the age range of a 7 year old instead of a 9 year old) in her neurological development as far as gross and fine motor skills are concerned. So she'll go to therapy until she's where she's supposed to be. Luckily, in visual integration (not eyesight, but processing and comprehending what you see) she tests in the 12-13 year old range - so she's 4 years ahead there. The OT said this is the intelligence indicator. (see above paragraph about mythology - sheez)
In summary, she's smart but klutzy, just like her mom! AND I have ADHD, too. Genetics really got her - poor kid.
Ashlyn has been doing well. She's been sick here and there - once with food poisoning and once with a high fever of unknown origin, but that is to be expected in a 5 year old. It took 4 adults to hold her down to get a throat culture (which turned out to be negative) when she had the fever. THAT was fun. I can't wait until her immune system is better developed - that kid gets the sniffles at least once a month in the cold weather. And she is NOT a good taker-of-medicine. She's gotten better as she's gotten older, but she used to projectile-vomit anything I put in her mouth if she didn't want it there. Threats just end in tears and vomiting, so now I just resort to cajoling and bribery. She may not have any teeth left after all the candy and cookies I bribe her with, but she won't be sick!
I'm such a great mother.
Lauren's birthday is next Tuesday. My first baby will be 10 years old. (Are those new lines on my forehead and gray hairs on my head, of which there are already a-plenty? Why yes, yes they are.)
I am so excited about her party this year! Her theme is Ancient Egypt and we're having a scavenger hunt and "archeological dig" (aka big rubbermaid container filled with play sand with buried artifacts and crystals scattered thru-out) and her cake is going to be a scaled-down landscape of Giza made out of a flat sheet cake and pyramids made out of rice crispy treats with plenty of frosting and crushed 'Nilla wafers for sand. I might even try to make a sphinx out of marzipan. I can't wait!
And yes, I know I'm a total dork. Shut up.
The bellydancing is still going strong. I have EIGHT gigs in the coming months, and we're performing with live drummers now, so it's cool and challenging. I even have a couple of pictures that I might post. But I have to get very very drunk first. So if you want to see those pictures, show up with a case of white wine and we'll discuss it.
R and I went thru a VERY rough patch about a month ago. We actually broke up for a while and started making plans on moving out, etc., but then got to talking and decided that, all bullshit aside, we are good together and are happy with the relationship so we decided to stay together and see what happens. Currently we're working on things and he is going to counseling every week to sort shit out that happened earlier in his life that he unintentionally plays out in our relationship. I'm far from perfect, but I think most of the "work" needs to be done in his head at this point, so I'm here for love and support and nooky 24 hours a day. We're also working on communication and being together as a family and a couple as much as possible, despite working opposite shifts. Truth be told, I feel closer to him and feel like I know him better now than I ever have before. So far so good. We'll just have to see what the future holds.
In retrospect, I realize now that I (and R, too, for different reasons) have been living in "survival mode" for the last three years - ever since I got seperated and subsequently divorced. I've been living my life on "what ifs" and just kinda making do and not willing to settle down on anything. I've been thru 4 different companies job-wise... I've furnished my rented townhouse with hand-me-downs and slipcovers... I don't like the car I bought after I totalled my last one... I don't even own a pet when I've always had at least one cat, if not a dog and various fish/hamsters/turtles etc. I've basically been living my life like I could pack up my kids and clothes and run at a moment's notice and not give a rat's ass about what I left behind. Really for no good reason at this point three years down the road. I have a nice salary and so does R, combined we make plenty of money. Therefore, R and I have decided that we're going to move to a new place when our lease is up this summer and start fresh. Build something comforting and beautiful and a real home together instead of trying to mend broken little pieces of our lives into a presentable facade but we're really making Frankenstein's monster. A new place and new furniture will be a good start.
I am tired of living like a refugee.
3.06.2007
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