4.11.2006

Horse's Ass

This is something I got in email a while ago and I found it interesting. It popped into my head today (I have no idea why) and I thought I'd share.

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When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are Solid Rocket Boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Morton-Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs, therefore, had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track.
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.

Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe (including England) were built by Imperial Rome for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? The initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels, were first formed by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

So the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Specifications and bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.

So, a major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system using Solid Rocket Boosters was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of two horse's behinds.


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Now a disclaimer: I have no idea if this is true. It may be an urban legend, but it sounds plausible to me.

Then again, I may just be a horse's ass.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are there any memberships left in the Horse's Ass Club? I'll take a lifetime if you have one.

Wouldn't it have been simpler to build the launch sight next door to the factory in UT instead of FL?

I'll take that membership card now.

Nikki said...

I've seen this email before. And I agree with you Admiral, I have often thought that the folks who built the launch site in FL instead of Utah were the horse asses myself.

I'm not interested in a membership though. It's time to renew my membership at Bitch USA. LOL