My Funny Anti-Valentine

I consider myself extremely lucky to have someone to share my life with that is loving, supportive and affectionate year-round and not just on days like today.

That being said, the commercialism and hypocrisy of Valentine's Day just twists my panties ( and not in a good way). What other day offers an excuse for people to act like great girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/husbands when they are actually fuckwits the rest of the year?

Call me crazy, but why does one arbitrary day in February mean you must rush out (along with everyone and their dog) and spend exorbitant amounts of money to prove their love? Alcohol? Always good. Cards and chocolates? Fine. Stuffed animals if you're over 12? Gag me. Diamonds? Run NOW.

There is a commercial for a jewelry store playing on TV every 10 minutes now that shows a little girl talking to an 20-something girl.

The little girl says, "Brian likes you."
20-something girl says, "How do you know?"
LG: "He told me!"
20 SG: "He told me too because I'm a gold-digging whore who only shags Brian when he buys me stuff!" while displaying a diamond pendant necklace.

Don't get me wrong, I think that children giving out Valentines to their classmates and having little parties is sweet - in fact I'm bringing cookies to my daughter's class in about an hour. I also think people SHOULD celebrate their love with occasional gifts and thoughtful notes, but on days that mean something - birthdays, anniversaries, special happenings, etc. But not because Hallmark and Nestles and Teleflora and Kay Jewelers tell you to.

So, in the spirit of my snarky anti-commercialism, here are some Anti-Valentines that I find very funny.