My dad the comedian

(My father is coming to visit in September and I spoke with him for about an hour on the phone yesterday, so this lead me to reflect on my father.)

What can I say about my dad? For most of my life, he was an enigma. To say that he wasn't around much during my childhood is an understatement, but it wasn't because he was some drunken lout that was always out womanizing. It was because he was active duty Army in Psychological Operations, so he was always deployed with Special Forces, busting his ass for Uncle Sam. In a nutshell, he's a man who worked hard and provided for his wife and family his entire life.

But since he retired last year, overcame cancer, split with my mom and moved into a studio apartment, I am discovering my father as a person. Oh, I have seen glimpses of him in the past 32 years, and even more since I moved out of the house and became an adult, but in truth, I didn't see much beyond a husband, father, and soldier/security expert.

(Side note on my naivete as a child: I had no idea that my dad had an actual occupation in the Army for 21 years until I was a senior in high school. I have specific memories of taking dinner to him at work when he worked swing shifts, but I really just thought a soldier was a soldier was a soldier and ALL soldiers worked in basements with crytpo locks and an MP guarding a thick steel door. One day, a gung-ho JROTC guy in my history class asked me what my dad did in the Army. I kinda gave the guy a blank stare then brightened up and recited a saying from a unit t-shirt my dad had that read "Bang Bang, can you hang with the 1st PsyOps Battalion. First with the Finest." - of course, the only reason I remember that t-shirt is because it had a charicature of a bulldog with a cowboy hat on it, which I always thought was odd, but that is beside the point. Anyway, the gung-ho guy went completely apeshit when he found out my dad was in PsyOps and started asking where he was stationed and what he did, etc. I found myself to be a minor celebrity with this guy for a while because he followed me around and asked me questions, like the JROTC version of the papparazi. )

Outside of work, my father has never really been a football and beer on Sundays type of guy, but has always been interested in more intellectual/hobbyist pursuits. His hobbies over the years have included Dungeons and Dragons, leatherworking, wire jewelry making, photography, N-scale trains, writing sci-fi novels, racing RC cars, reading sci-fi/fantasy, and the ever present computer and RPG games - my 60 year old dad has a desk top, a lap top, an X-box, and a Gameboy. I was always involved with his hobbies and worked on/made projects with him, which I always found extremely enjoyable especially since my mom and sister weren't really interested in what we were doing - it was just quality time for me and my dad. My sister always enjoyed the computer games, so that was their bonding time.

The aspect I have enjoyed the most about him in the last few years tho, is his sense of humor. Everytime we talk on the phone, we always trade jokes. He loves blonde jokes.

Favorite blonde joke:
Q: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek contest winner.

And he comes up with monikers for everything.

Favorite food monikers:
Biscuit Surprise and Adventures in Succotash (I'll leave you to wonder on those.)

The story behind my all-time favorite moniker:
Last year, he was forced to medically retire, then he was diagnosed with cancer, all on top of finding out about my mom having an affair. So in effect, he lost his job, his financial security, his health and his marriage all in the period of 2 months. After his cancer diagnosis, my sister and I were devastated and I, for one, was scared to talk to him because I didn't want to break down and cry on the phone and upset him further. So when I finally talked to him that evening, he was joking with me, trying to cheer me up. He started laughing and when I asked what he was laughing about he said, "I just figured out my new nick name... the ANTI-LOTTERY WINNER!!"

We both dissolved in giggles.

Twisted bastard.

How I love him so.