Toodledum

And no, I'm not talking about the lost triplet from Alice in Wonderland.

I'm talking about the hoo hoo, kitty, beaver, hair pie... the glorious vagina.

What is so embarrassing and taboo about using the word "vagina?" I don't know, but my sister and I weren't allowed to say it when we were younger. Instead, we were instructed to use the word "toodledum," thanks to my great-grandmother who used it with my mother, who in turn, used it with us.

Yessiree, folks... toodledum.

So, when we were little, we often heard phrases like "Wash your toodledum!" "Make sure you wipe your toodledum after you pee!" and the ubiquitous "Moooom! I got soap in my toodledum and it stings!" while painfully hopping around the bathtub and covering said toodledum with our hands... like that will get the soap out.

When we uttered this word, it was like some kind of magical word, spoken in hushed tones.

You know when you are little and take it for granted that everyone is just like you? So you assume that, of course everyone would say toodledum instead of vagina. But no, everyone else used a semi-normal and recognizable word. But not my family. Our friends would give us the strangest looks, and ask "What's a toodledum?!" Then we would giggle and point. Then they would say something along the lines of "Oh! I call that a pee pee."

Oh, to have used a normal word....

There is one particular memory that sticks out in my mind from my childhood, and that is me at about 4 years old, sitting on my dad's lap. He was trying to watch TV while I climbed all over him and picked at him like a monkey... noting differences in the hair on his arms, his big hands and feet against my little hands and feet, and his bellybutton being an 'innie' while mine was still a semi 'outie.' I then proceeded to stick my finger in his bellybutton.

What possessed me to sniff my finger following that, I'll never know. But I do clearly remember squealing,

"Eww! Your belly button smells like toodedum!"